Marijuana Addiction
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Addictions & Answers: 'My 11 year-old daughter is addicted to marijuana!'
BILL: "Lauren used to be a straight A student," writes her mom, Jane. "But when we moved to a new neighborhood, her grades started to slide. Her teacher said Lauren never does her homework. And in her room just now, I could smell the marijuana. Dr. Dave and Bill," finishes Jane, "Lauren is 11-years old. How can she be addicted to pot?"
DR. DAVE: That is indeed a worried mother talking. Smoking marijuana when you're eleven is a fast and slippery slope to addiction—but it does not mean you have arrived there yet.
BILL: I got in touch with Gabor Maté M.D., author of Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, and asked him just that – how could an eleven year old be addicted. "First," he said, "Lauren may be self-medicating anxiety, depression, or ADHD. Second, she could be seeking
relief from some family stress. Third, she could be disconnected from the adults in her life and be too much influenced by her peer group."
DR. DAVE: All of those possibilities need to be addressed in the spirit of a compassionate connection with this child. Without that, nothing else will do much good.
BILL: The one reason that really hits me is peer group pressure. Doc, you and Nicole have a daughter you are proud of. What pro-active steps did you take to arm her against that?
DR.DAVE: Our first step was a family decision to support any path Hanna took that would strengthen her social and emotional development. That's the biggest firewall against drug use.
BILL: Didn’t you once tell me she really enjoyed taking care of younger kids?
DR. DAVE: In fifth grade, she ran for Student Body President on a platform of treating all the younger grades with sibling-like support. Surprisingly, she beat out a large group of candidates—many running on the platform of cake and cookies for lunch with longer recesses.
BILL: That’s what you prevention folk call cross-age mentoring?
DR. DAVE: And as PTA members ourselves, Nicole and I put all our energy to developing cross-age mentoring options in Hannah's schools.
BILL: Dave, I don’t hear you mention anyone mentoring Hannah herself. How come she didn't end up with the school's "behind-the-bushes" pot- smoking club?
DR. DAVE: Bill, cross-mentoring works both ways. Yes, of course it is a boost for those being mentored. But it’s an even bigger prevention activity for the kids doing the mentoring—the quality of adults and other kids they work with is amazing.
BILL: I'll bet Hannah's self-esteem shot through the roof! And aren't there community groups just begging for youth mentors for their kids?
DR. DAVE: Plus, let’s not forget where all those cross-age mentoring skills lead—to the number one potential for 12-14 year old employment...
BILL: ..the neighborhood babysitter. I'm sold. So then, where would parents start to explore the idea of mentoring, cross-age or otherwise?
DR. DAVE: When Hanna's friends hit 8th Grade, they worked with some school faculty to create a cross-age mentoring network. I didn't really know much about mentoring at first— I just followed my kid's lead. The website I found with the most mentoring information and resources to link to others in your area is called, simply enough, www.mentoring.org.
BILL: Dave, you know what? I just plugged Lauren and Jane's zip code into that site and it gave me local mentoring partnerships going on in their community.
DAVE: I would have Jane anonymously call the school counselor and find the best substance abuse specialist who works with her daughter's age group. Lauren, with her mother, needs to undo the level of damage already present...
BILL: Doc, let me go a step further. What if Lauren were indeed well and truly addicted? For instance, is an intervention ever in order for an 11-year-old? Patricia Genereux, a mom and a Parent Advisory Board Member for The Partnership at Drugfree.org was faced with this problem. "I wish we'd been able to click on Time To Get Help," she told me. "The examples and guidance on the site help families understand the disease itself, prevention measures, intervention, treatment and recovery. I t is the best start a parent could hope for in their fight against a beloved child's addiction."